6 posts tagged “holidays”

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Photo Gifts

My mom pulled a classic gift gag this year, by buying us picture frames filled with home-printed photos. Except, her frugality made the entire enterprise an insult. Let me explain.


First, she must have picked up these picture frames in bulk someplace. They are the roughest (read: splinters in my hands) Mexican-made frames I ever did see. And what did she put inside?


For me, she includes a (bad) photo of the three of us from our summer vacation. "That was the only photo with just you, your dad, and I." "Yeah, mom," I thought to myself, "the whole point was to meet your extended family there... just the three of us together seems like you're wishing we were still separate."


Whatever.


For X, she printed a photo of him and his parents. For some reason, they looked like American Indians. What was wrong? Upon further inspection, everything was dark, and especially, red. In my photo, my mother's white blouse was pink. There was something weird going on in these home-printed photos.


Upon close scrutiny, we noticed that the ink was pooled-up for some colors (like black), and splochy and shiny/dull in others. My assessment is that the printer she has (HP) and the paper (Kodak) were not compatible. She needed to match the better paper with her printer. But, she gifted us these lackluster photos that I took, printed to laughable quality.


One rule of thumb about gifting: don't let people notice the bad quality.


So, with splinters in hand, and determination in my mind, we re-printed photos to go into the frames. Mind you, we didn't use all the same photos. X demanded the same one, so I complied, since I did feel it was a good photo. But for mine, I instead selected one of him and me, which when completed, looked like "real" photos using my Canon photo printer.


When I took out the one glass, I realized it was filthy. Yes, my mother neglected to wash-off the spotted and grimy glass. Who knows how it got so nasty. Now, our finished products look good, despite the cheap frames. But this little gift now will cost me another $22, to replace the ink cartridges spent in re-printing the gifted photos.

Post a comment Tags: christmas, gifts, parents, holidays

Let's Bring Wine

On December 23, my partner's bosses invited us to their home for dinner. They graciously invited my parents, as well, to join us. While we had already arranged gifts to present them upon arrival, my father objected to bringing nothing, and demanded I show him a wine store so he and my mother could bring wine.

"If we must. But I will choose the wine."

So we find the wine store, and go inside. I knew "Polish" was the menu theme, so I tried to choose a neutral wine. I chose a Gewürztraminer. Like the wine my dad was eyeing, it was $20. He paid, trying first to use his Discover card, then finally with his Visa.

We got lost finding their house. This added drama and tension to the car ride. My father had driven around some rocks, and they were "kicking up" and banging the underside of his precious Cadillac. he kept cursing the stones, bitching, if you will, about the scuffs and scrapes he was enduring on these "country roads."

Upon arrival, we were served appetizers, and presented the wine. Midway through eating in the living room, the hostess came in and asked for my assistance in opening my father's wine offering. "I am not sure what's wrong, but could you help me? I cant' seem to get this bottle opened!"

I examined the bottle top, and the screwpull. As I pulled it out, I discovered why there was a problem. She had assumed this bottle had a cork, but it did not. A simple twist of the cap, and the wine was opened. I showed my father, who became flush, and said outloud, my name... "J--- --- are you kidding me?" as he laughed. I threw the cap at him, and went into the kitchen to bring the hostess the wine. I had hoped to escape the embarrassment of bringing a corkless bottle.

My father, meanwhile, fished around in their collection of corks in the dining room. He found one and put it in his pocket. While the hostess did ask about the wine--I refused to answer why there was a problem. The dinner went swimmingly well, and then after they were cleaning up, he shows me the cork. "Here, go put this on the table.. they'll think it belongs with our bottle."

"I will not! It's already empty!"

They returned, and it seemed our secret might remain ours. But my dad left that night with both the cork and the bottle cap. Incidentally, it was tasty wine.
Post a comment Tags: dinner, christmas, holidays

Let's Go to Church

This is the first, in what may be several tales dedicated to my parents' visit to town for Christmas. 


And so, we start with Christmas Eve, not the first opportunity for sharing what transpired, but, as will find out, a memorable one, despite what we might hope to remember years from now.

My parents are not religious in that sense of the word that would prescribe frequent visits to church, or signing letters with Biblical verses. I am guessing my parents, put together, couldn't name but 6 books of the Bible. My mother, who now wears crosses around her neck, used to be Presbyterian. Since she left my home town, and moved to Florida, however, she hasn't seen the inside of a church. My dad, who for some reason buys my mother all of these cross-necklaces, is Catholic, and attends church once a year, if not less frequently.

And so, I announced on the eve of Christmas, at the advice of my pagan, nee communist, or perhaps half-Agnostic, half-athiest Chinese partner, to go to church. "Let's go to a local church." "Can we go Presbyterian?" "Hey, let's go someplace close, around here... what do you suggest?"

No, no, no. I chose the downtown Episcopal church. For one, I have been to many concerts there and it's a nice church. For two, I figure the Anglicans are half protestant and half Catholic, so my parents should find a happy medium there. Going downtown to church is an event. But not one that my father would warm up to anytime in getting there.

He was mad to start, as we had to leave shortly after dinner. The service began at 10 PM. It was 9:26 and we pulled out of the driveway. "Where are we going?" my mom asked us. "To church," I replied, not saying a word that it would take 35 minutes to get there.

When I later pulled onto the highway, my dad began to voice concern. "J--I think we passed like 4 churches to get to the highway... where are we going?"

"Downtown."

"Where? Jesus Christ, what's wrong with you? Why are we going all the way downtown for church?"

I ignored him, and searched for holiday carols on the radio.

Next, my mom chimed in. "J-we'd be happy enough going to a service close to home... aren't there any Presbyterian churches near home?" "Yes," I replied, "but we're going to the Episcopal church... sit tight."

The second reason I chose the downtown church was so my parents could see the "grand illumination" that takes place, where all the buildings are lit up for the holidays.

When we got to the city, my dad was cursing some more. "Do you see the lights?" X asked my dad. "The only thing I see down here is black people."

"Dad!" I shouted, protesting his seemingly racist remark.

"It's true, look left, look right, all that's down in this city are blacks."

As I turned a corner, he added, "I bet we're the only caucasians in the church tonight... "

When we pulled into the garage for the church, he was mad. "I hope we don't get mugged down here, tonight... god damn, this is the most lousy place to have a church."

My dad doesn't like being out of control, to have others dictate his location or whereabouts. I enjoy the challenge of introducing this slight discomfort, but even tonight, it was too rich to tolerate. We got into an elevator, and rose up into the church. "This place is empty..." he said.

We were early, and the carol singing started soon. As we entered the sanctuary, there were 4-5 African American families in the church already. I had hoped some caucasian people would enter, to prove my father wrong.

The service was something neither of my parents expected. My dad soon warmed up to things, as my mother grew weary, to learn it would be a 2-hour Christmas Eve service. My father went for communion. My mother kept looking at the 6 pages of the bulletin rolling her eyes. While complaints about the time followed into the ride home by car, I think both of my parents were better off for going downtown, experiencing something new, and learning that downtown wasn't all "black" and "robbers." 

Christmas would be the next morning, a day where more tales would be born from their visit.

Post a comment Tags: christmas, parents, holidays, church

Shopping & Service

At a store today, while holiday shopping, I overheard a store clerk talking about his focus is on "customer service," but then delivered poor customer service to me. Maybe I wasn't buying as much. But once he started my transaction, his focus got diverted to another customer being helped by another salesman.

He asked me later to go to their website, and take the survey on him and the service today. "I will," I said in a menacing tone. It wasn't that he was mean or inconsiderate. But, as the customer, I want to feel I have your attention for the full 5 minutes it takes to make a purchase.

At another, similiar retailer, the experience was much more professional.

At yet another, the Apple Store, they seemingly have tried to organize the store for holiday shopping, but it's too small. Or too popular. iPods stacked up here, MacBooks, over there. While I think their ability now to check you out anywhere in the store with their wireless-PDAs is cool, I think it is also a tad impersonal.

"I want an iPod."

"Here. Gimme your credit card, others are waiting."

"E-mail or printed receipt?"

It's all very fast, but I also felt like they were trying to get my money as quickly as possible, then send me out, too. Efficiency isn't always the best ingredient, perhaps, for superior customer service.

Post a comment Tags: holidays, shopping, retail

Gift Time

It is once that time of year again, when gifting begins, and shopping must commence. What to buy for family? Friends? All these people need gifts. For what purpose? The season?


As much as I want to be a magnanimous person and share in the spirit of giving to others, sometimes I shamefully look forward to writing out a list of my own desires. Would we be better off simply buying the things we want for our own selves, instead of giving to others?

Yes, I do get some joy out of giving, I admit. But it would seem simpler to provide for one's self. Less disappointment, and fewer little cheap gifts just to say you did something.

2 comments Tags: gifts, holidays

The Christmas Offer

There are republicans and democrats. There are also closet conservatives and liberals, too. My mother, sadly, is a conservative. And it makes me sick.


I'm not fan of politicians, none is perfect. But there are issues in my life--serious issues--that support the democratic ticket. I'm not in their camp for everything, but for most stuff, yes, I see the the same as the Clintons and the Deans. And the fact that my mother can stand up for some republicans makes me ill. She embarassed me the other day, talking on the phone with my boss, lamenting she'd have to waste a vote in Florida on Foley.

He looked at me as if "Did I hear her correctly?"

Yet, they are my parents, and I'd like to care. But they're making it tough.

I invited them here for Christmas. But they refuse. They have a difficult time, I think, dealing with my current personal relationship. Not that it's new, we're going on 9 years and consider ourselves married. So we offer to send them here, via plane, and pay for the tickets.

This is what I want to write back, now, to my dad:

> Ok, thanks for letting me know. But I rescind the offer. Hope the golf trip pans out for you and mom.

He wrote me that he might be going on a golfing trip with my mom with some neighbors for new year's. Probably can't come.

Let me consider this again. "Spend the holiday with your only son, or golf with some 80-year old neighbors?" Hmm.

5 comments Tags: parents, holidays, politics